It’s a new year I am sooooooo excited!!!! Why? Because Weak for Him will release in exactly 15 days (or maybe sooner…muwahahha!!) Squee! Since it is the first day of 2014, I wanted to reflect upon 2013. It was a crazy year. Like, I can’t even explain to you how it got to where it is right now. I’ve learned hard lessons. Some that I won’t even talk about ….. … because they aren’t worth mentioning.
At this very moment, I have not transitioned over to the author realm. I am still very much “just a writer”, and I wanted to mainly reflect upon that, so when 2015 arrives (because we know it all will), I will be able to look back at this post and go WOW! So, future LYRA… insert it here: ______
When I fully committed to writing Weak for Him in May, I went about it full force. Wrote my synopsis, let it sit. Wrote the first chapter (which never changed) and then found myself writing every day. When I finished it, I was just like…ZING! I felt accomplished because I did what I said I was going to do. Therewas never a time when I didn’t know where the story was going. The characters spoke to me, loudly, and when I finished, I wanted to cry. Like…. just speechless.
For the past 3 years, I have wanted to publish a novel. I wrote one and it sucked. I wrote short stories, and they sucked. But when I wrote Weak for Him, I felt like I had finally created something that I could be completely and utterly proud of. Something that I wasn’t ashamed to show people, something that other may enjoy.
I think I was scared of publishing, in a sense, and I’m not sure why. But after reevaluating things in my life, and getting rid of all the negativity, I was able to get over it. I have a pretty thick skin and can take criticisms quite well (all that musical theatre I used to do), and well, I was sike-ing myself out for waaaaay too long. There were times during 2013 when I just wanted to say EFF it. But I didn’t, and it’s because I don’t quit things when I set out to accomplish them. I’ve always been like that and I think that I will be until the day I die. I love to destroy challenges.
I am in such a weird transitioning stage right now that I sometimes just sit wide eyed and try to recoup my thoughts and think about what’s about to happen..lol. Publishing, it’s weird!!! I’ve had bloggers ask me how it feels to have people read a novel that’s going to be loved. I’ve had them ask me WHY I’VE NEVER EFFING PUBLISHED BEFORE! Lol. Some can’t believe it’s my debut novel. lol. Me either, readers, me either. When I read things like OMG you will be a ‘best seller’ I kind of freak out inside…… It somewhat scares the shit out of me. WHY? Because it’s still weird to think that people genuinely like what I’ve written. Maybe it’s because I watched Carrie recently and I’m just waiting for the pigs blood? Or maybe it’s because only two people had ever read anything I wrote and tore it to SHREDS, before I sent it to my betas. lol. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.
Every writer has a dream. Whether it is to be on XXXX list, to sell XXXX amount of copies, to have XXXX agent, or XXXX followers across FaceTwitGoodPintPlus or whatever it may be. I don’t have any expectations. My only goal at this point is to keep up my positive thinking after I’ve hit publish. I don’t know if it will be a bestseller. I don’t know if it will sell hundreds, thousands, or millions of copies. I don’t know, and when people ask me, I don’t really know what to say. But I can tell you, I am not going to set myself up with a crazy expectation. Instead, I’m just going to take it one day at a time. #YOLO
Like I’ve said before, I’ve wanted to publish a novel for 3 years, that’s 1095 days, and by the reviews that I’ve already received, I feel like I have accomplished everything that I’ve set out to do with book 1, and because of that, I feel pretty freaking cool.
So I am finishing up this reflection post with a big THANK YOU to those who have read Weak for Him and enjoyed it and bigger THANK YOU to my future readers! Seriously, thank you, thank you!